I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
