you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I think your dad took our porno
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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