she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
