i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
