I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
