I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
