So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I need water and some morals
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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