I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Randomize
