I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
