at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
