Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
