there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
