4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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