Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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