I showed him my bush... on skype.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
