Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize