i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
