saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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