so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
