i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
