We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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