remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
