If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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