super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
