What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I enjoy the company of your penis
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
