That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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