If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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