Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
The power of my boobs compel you
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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