do herpes really smell.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
