thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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