I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize
