what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
