Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
