Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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