So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Randomize
