I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
