The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
