Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
