In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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