I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
