we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
