Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
