I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
