My boss' voice literally gives me gas
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
