I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
