Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
