I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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