Joe is yelling at the trees again.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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