your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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