I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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