I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
