Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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