i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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