my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
