I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize