Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
