i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
