I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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