So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
