yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize