In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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