It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
