Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Randomize
