I seem to have left my pride at pride
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
