Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
