the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
